Zwartz -- Zwartitudz

  Geez Louise these guys are the most underrated and unknown Sk8 Punk anomaly known to man!!  All I could find was a bootleg video tape of a guy playing the actual record, and the picture I drew was my best rendering of the cover that was quickly flashed on the tape.  All the tracks were pure Hardcore skate Rock numbers like, Dripping In Rad, Rad is My Dad, When I Bail My Blood Is The Colour Rad, Rad Rad Rad, Teeth In The Masonite Is Rad, Radeology At China Creek and Seylynn Radness For Life, just to name a few!  This album is a must have for any Punk Rock aficionado.

  In actuality my friend and I made this up playing scrabble getting drunk, acting stupid, with his wife.  We used to come up with all kinds of schemes to make this fake band popular locally without actually having to play, for example, lacing the town in Zwartz posters but the concert was always yesterday, making phony t-shirts and wearing them all-the-time, or the best one, making a phoney show at a certain venue, while we sit across the street with a six pack laughing at the people showing up to see the band play that doesn't exsist!  Bah ha ha ha ha!

  In the end this is my 500th album review that has been culled over three years, I've learn a lot, and have been through a personal juggernaut in my life, I sometimes think this is the only thing that kept me from losing my mind, keeping focus on the task at hand, but at the same time I fear that I may have started to identify with albums more than actual people, I've jumped too deep down the rabbit hole, and now that it's over I'm going to claw my way out, attempt at immersing myself with people, start living, so if you see a miserable curmudgeon out there snobbing it up about music, it could be me, so say hi or f*ck off, it's your choice!!  See ya on the flipside weirdos and stay groovy ......................... The And!  

Link Wray -- Law Of The Jungle

  Law Of The Jungle spans Link Wray's career from 63 to 66, showcasing some of his best known Surf Punk hits and early vocal efforts.  This instrumental mastermind has numerous legendary admirers and influenced many genres with his raw boisterous style.   

Foals -- Antidotes

  This kinda ok but not really Indie British band has one killer track, Big Big Love (Fig 2), otherwise forget this crap and move on.

Death -- ... For The Whole World To See

  This long lost masterpiece was almost ignored by the world, until a couple of guys brought it back from the dead (ha ha!), and made a documentary film on these Proto-Punk pioneers.  The music itself is a wicked mix of The Stooges and early Love with stop on a dime precision.  Why this album never saw the light of day, we'll never know, but thank god we've got it now!  

Jr. Walker And The All Stars -- Play Shotgun

  These killer motor city Soul brothers somehow make me think of a Motown version of Booker T And The MG's, but being a Detroit band, there's more horns and less Blues.

Betty Everett -- They'll Come A Time

  Great album but to be honest this record is just run of the mill Soul music, which is nice and all, but there was a lack of a stand out track!  Hey!!  I'm a poet and did know it, thank God I wrote it!

Gang Of Four -- Entertaiment!

  Art Punk classic, Gang Of Four are like the British Pere Ubu, but with more hints of New Wave, that being said Entertainment! has a wide spread of influence across the board reaching into today.

The Flying Burrito Brothers

  As an attempt to make an album without the ferocious hippie country boy sad sack power of Gram Parsons, this record is passable, but it hardly cuts the mustard like their previous efforts!

Jackson Browne -- For Everyman

  Soft Rock extraordinaire Jackson Browne's sophomore effort.  Although it sounds almost like The Eagles, I really dig these mellow tunes, my theory is that unlike The Eagles, Browne puts the twang or back-ups or solos in just the right places, therefore not making it corny as sin, my guess is that it's because of the huge slew of luminary guests featured on this album. 

The xx -- xx

  This Indie Electroclash outfit has some great Pop hooks and cool lush vocals ... but how come the only song I can remember is VCR?  Probably because it's their best version of their one trick pony.  

Super Furry Animals -- Dark Days/ Light Years

  I can't say I like this band or album very much, I could never stand the singer's voice, but this one has an exception, the mega cool killer track that appeals to the 6 year old boy living inside my brain, Where Do You Wanna Go?, it's got Beach Boys-esque lyrics with a minimalistic smooth rockin' riff, and is everything a young boy would ever want to hear in the midst of an epic road trip.  So lets all go anywhere, anytime, anyhow with anyone and feel anything!!!

Patrick Watson -- Adventures In Your Own Backyard

  Recorded in the Plateau area of Montreal, which gives me some happy nostalgia, Patrick Watson and gang made a prettily arranged Sufjan Stevens-esque album.  The songs feel like lovable nursery rhymes sung with Nick Drake sweetness.

  Adventures In Your Own Backyard reminds of my friend who introduced this music to me, the story goes, he's in his car listening to whatever with his co-worker who says, "hey man, you're into Soft Rock, eh!"  Doesn't seem like much of a statement, but for me and my buddy, whom we had never thought of ourselves as Soft Rockers, now we relish in this new fact, so ... LONG LIVE THE SOFT ROCKER!!!!  And FU if you don't like it, cause we're mellow!

Baby Huey -- The Baby Huey Story: The Living Legend

  Yowzers!!!  What do you get when you mix Curtis Mayfield, who produced this album, and a Soul belter ... you guessed it, Baby Huey.  Unfortunately Huey died even before he had completely finished his influential debut album, but at least we have this testament from one, "bad ... shut your mouth!"    

Glen Campbell -- The Astounding 12-String Guitar Of ...

  ... ahhhhh, God, why did I do this to myself, albeit they are all very talented musicians, but this instrumental country/ folk muzakesque piece of sh*t sucked the big one royally ... the best thing about this album is the cover, I think I'll use the record for either a Frisbee or an ashtray! 

Edith Piaf -- Tete-A-Tete Avec Piaf

  The ill-fated Parisian national treasure chanteuse Edith Piaf's final Lp.  Honestly the music on this album isn't that great, it has it's moments but the songs hardly touch her early brilliance.  The real meat on this record sits in her monologues between numbers, her tragic optimism about love, loss, hope and youth gives the sense of a woman facing her own mortality finding solace on the last leg of the race, while putting me in a bout with existentialism about my own life, clinging whatever hope I might have for happiness. 

Shuggie Otis -- Inspiration Information

  Shuggie Otis perches himself between Sly Stone's Funky Psychedelia and smooth Stevie Wonder'd tenderness.  

SNFU -- ... And No One Else Wanted To Play

  SNFU's debut and debatebly their best album ... unfortunately lead singer and focal point became somewhat of a Punk Rock lifestyle legendary victim, as we all have from time to time, well if you're hardcore enough, but Mr. Chi Pig took it to another level, although I'm sure his eclectic ways helped in keeping his song writing fresh, vibrant and completely original.  So let's all go to the Cannibal Cafe, "where you can be the special of the day?"

Presenting The Fabulous Ronettes Featuring Veronica

  Phil Spector's crowning achievement led by the sultry and beautiful Veronica.  The Ronettes seem to have the ability to seep themselves into my and hopefully everyone's imagination, making us all remember when a beautiful woman loved and longed for us in this very way!

Chet Baker -- Let's Get Lost

  Before becoming the famous heroin fueled troubled troubadour who lost and then regained his embouchure, living a life of self torture and torment, Baker had previously recorded these numbers which were to become the soundtrack to a documentary about his life.  What you hear here is the soft pangs of a destroyed man, using his own voice and trumpet to create the sound and atmosphere of what he was feeling inside, it's funny sometimes how a man's pain can be so beautiful and enticing which is a talent on it's own.       

Stereolab -- Emperor Tomato Ketchup

  What a killer French Popped Kraut Electro Funk'd mish-mash of futura sweetness.  Man after listening to this you can tell they were heavily influenced by Gainsbourg's Melody Nelson, and  clearly had it on continuous repeat, drawing from it's greatness, while tossing their own interpretation, so ALL hail Emperor Tomato Ketchup!

Weezer

  Jock Rock extraordinaires, as much as the hit tracks are annoying and over-played, some of the oddball numbers aren't that bad, they've sound like slowed down Buzzcocks, but in the end I don't give a shit about this band.

The Scepter Records Story

  This 3 CD comprehensive box set features many great artists, I'd name one but then I'd have to name 'em all, there are some great moments, but honestly not many.  With the exception of maybe disc one's first twelve songs, and Louie Louie that shows up in the middle of disc two, this compilation stinks, not that the artists are so bad, but I kept getting the impression that they had bargain basement staff, as in song writers and producers, all the numbers had a sense phoniness, like they were written and produced to sound like another hit song ... point is, if anyone wants this comp it's up for grabs! 

Mission Of Burma -- Vs.

  Killer (no pun intended, you'll get it if you're cool) debut release, unfortunately their best tune isn't present, Vs. by Mission Of Burma.  Their sound is the next logical step that had started with Television, went to Pere Ubu, then Burma took over ... it seemed like the torch almost got passed on again through the years, but it was only when Fugazi came out that this sound picked up again.

Yo La Tengo -- I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One

  Yo La Tengo are the masters of multi-genre-ing without making it sound weird or out of place.  They seem to be influenced by everyone who's worth influencing, they do have their moments of being hit or miss, but their hits out number their misses, so who the hell cares!

Sister Rosetta Tharpe -- Gospel Train

  Sister Rosetta Tharpe is known as the Godmother of Rock 'n' Roll music, and I have to full heartily agree.  He distinct style of Blues infused Gospel inadvertently invented the modern style of guitar soloing, which was perfected by Chuck Berry ... meaning put this on your must hear list, as in right now!!! 

Green River -- Dry As Bone/ Rehab Doll

  Green River turned out to be the archetype for the Seattle sound.  What you have here is Mark Arm basically backed by Pearl Jam, thank god there isn't a hint of jock Rock in their music, it actually sounds like Mudhoney, just crunchier and amateur, but this band was a good start to what was to become a world movement!  

Charley Patton -- Founder Of The Delta Blues

  Robert Johnson might have been the prolific Bluesman, but Patton was the pioneer.  Charley is the type of character that his life is shrouded in a cloud of mystique and legend, but his reputation proceeds his raw, deep and boisterous Delta Blues, to the point that he even undertook a young apprentice ... the soon to be Howlin' Wolf ... point is, music as we know it would not be the same without these trailblazers at the root to our culture! 

Arthur Alexander -- You Better Move On

  Completely underrated to the point he drove a bus up until his potential comeback, then died of a heart attack ... damn Rock 'n' Roll, taking it's casualties whenever it wants.  Alexander sounds to me like a poor man's Ben E. King, and I don't mean that knocking him in anyway, he wrote some majorly famous numbers, that other artists staked big time fame covering, none other than The Beatles (Anna) and The Rolling Stones (You Better Move On) for starters.  So the next time you pop on a bus, get some street meat, or in my case visit a jewellery store, what you see isn't always what you get!   

The Dirty Fences -- Too High To Kross

  Power Punk'd debut full length release Too High To Kross by The Dirty Fences.  I really liked this album, but is it a version of this kind of music I have never heard before ... let's just say I'm happy I got the CD rather than the record!

JFA -- Valley Of The Yakes

  F*ckin' way rad pioneering skate Punk outfit JFA.  What can I say about this Hardcore album other than it makes me wanna take my deck out, slam on the concrete, throw my bloodied broken teeth in your face and yell Jodie Foster Army!

Washed Out -- Paracosm

  Man oh man, I really like this synthy-dream-gazer album ... not to trash talk this kinda music, because I feel like it's about time that the Shoegaze trailblazers get the recognition they deserved, but if every new Indie band goes this route it won't sound so original anymore, meanwhile Washed Out nailed it!

Alt J -- An Awesome Wave

  Alt J are a mix of Mogwai meets later period Radiohead with hints of TV On The Radio.  Their Dreampop tunes rule on this album otherwise I find the rest to be pretentious and lame.

Elastica

  Definitely the most Punk Rock of the 1990's Britpop bands, to the point that they even got sued by Wire for stealing the riff to Three Girl Rhumba for their smash hit Connection.  Although I have a soft spot for this album I can't help but file it under 90's British bullshit ... sorry but when it comes to that era of music, I'm pretty pro America!

Ravi Shankar & Ali Akbar Khan -- The Exotic Sitar And Sarod

  I can't say I am able to fully understand this music, all the beats and complex changes have a Jazz like spontaneity.  These men are magical masters at their instruments, where music is their religion and they are the priests.

Wanda Jackson -- Right Or Wrong

  Here we go, the undisputed Queen of Rockabilly, Wanda Jackson.  Right Or Wrong cuts itself down into two camps, side one is "sentimental" Country music, and the flipside is full on Rock 'n' Roll.  This may not be her best album, and there might be the lack of the Jackson growl, but it does showcase her as a serious singer, where her voice matches her beauty.  

Sonny & Cher -- Look At Us

  Drenched in super campy 60's kitch, this piece of crap debut album doesn't have much to write home about, unless you are talking about the Bluesy Garage Bo Diddley romper You Don't Love Me, otherwise stay the hell away from this one.

Sublime -- 40oz. To Freedom

  Yes Yes I'm so sorry he's passed on but this group is up there with Jock Day, Jockspring and Jockvana for killing Punk ... I'm not entirely sure which derogatory jock term I should use for this painfully bad band: Jocklime, Jocklame, or better yet because they mixed Ska with Punk Jockperation Ivy ... oh and thanks guys for sh*tting on my favorite Descendents song ... poseurs!

Chavez -- Gone Glimmering

  A healthy mix of Pop Punk and Post Math Rock.  Can't say that this album blew my mind, not that it was bad, but I found it slightly boring ...

Bauhaus -- The Sky's Gone Out

  Goth Punk pioneer's third Lp The Sky's Gone Out ... I like this album but honestly, did it knock my socks off??  Not really ... there are some killer moments, but the record feels scatterbrained, like they weren't sure what they wanted.

Peter Tosh -- Legalize It

  After becoming increasingly hard to deal with, due to a car accident, Tosh leaves The Wailers to release his debut solo effort Legalize It.  To be honest there aren't too many surprises here, it's pretty much a run of the mill Reggae record, but I have to agree with Tosh, it must be legalized, has anyone done anything bad after a joint??  I doubt it, unless you consider buying some chips and take out a source of evil, booze has done way more to worsen society but everyone does that, we'd all be better off if we could just mellow out on jazz cigarettes!

Air -- Moon Safari

  Mega chill, downtime atmosphered Electro duo Air's debut album Moon Safari, it's got a mellow 60's kitch groove with Gainsbourg's Melody Nelson's sophistication and Kraftwerk-esque vocoded robotics ... there was nothing like being a 19 years old boy dancing with a beautiful young woman watching her lips mouth the words to Sexy Boy while looking straight into my eyes, goddamn, that sh*t melted my heart and ego into a smooth pool of cool butter!

Dead Boys -- Young Loud And Snotty

  The title almost says it all but I would have named it raw, mean and sleazy.  The Dead Boys were the next logical step after The Stooges and The New York Dolls, continuing the tradition of f*ck everything, including you Rock 'n' Roll.   No matter of how lewd this all sounds the album is pure Punk and is a force to be reckoned with ...

Gwar -- Hell-o!

  What happens when you bring to life Kiss's puke from a gargantuan amount of speed, coke, heroin, lsd, liquor and mix it with 80's Hardcore Punk ... Gwar's Hell-o! 

Le Tigre

  Man I can remember when this album came out, I was blown away by it's awesomeness, albeit this Dance Punk Electroclash by Bikini Kill's master of ceremonies was the perfect soundtrack to living in Montreal on drugs, clubs, women and booze ... ahhh the good old days, although I say that now, I was probably miserable, cold, hungover and lonely most of the time, so I guess nothing much has changed ... kidding, I'm much nicer now, which is a spooky thought!

Superchunk -- Foolish

  Foolish is the dark side of the usually cutesy Indie Punk masters Superchunk, the sound of a band coming of age, like turning 25 and realizing you don't know sh*t and are re-evaluating.  I kept thinking that if you took the Neil Young out of Eric's Trip it would be this album. 

Gary Wilson -- You Think You Really Know Me

  Gary Wilson's You Think You Really Know Me is an experimental mix of Lounge lizard funk and Musique Conrete, kinda like Suicide meets Prince.  It may be goofy and strange but it definitely has it's place, like the natural progression to Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica, passing the torch of weird ...

Gang Green -- Another Wasted Night

  Kind of typical, slight hint of Thrash, late 80's Hardcore album.  What I don't understand is how these guys managed to survive Boston straight edge jock Punk scene all those years, Gang Green were too cool and too fun, but maybe that was it, they just laughed in all their faces and partied on!!

Les Rita Mitsouko -- The No Comprendo

  Punk Synth Wave frenchy weirdos Les Rita Mitsouko.  Although I really like this album primarily because of two great numbers, C'est Comme Ca and Someone To Love, the rest of it sounds so unsteady even thought they had producer extraordinaire Tony Visconti at the helm ... and there's something about mega hit Andy that sounds like an avant-garde goofy stripper song.  

Sugarhill Gang

  Soul Funk drenched Hip Hop innovators The Sugarhill Gang.  I admittedly didn't hate this LP but for god sakes was it ever cheesy, case and point and I quote, "on and a on and a on and a on on on, I'm gonna rock you like a filet mignon ..."

Rodriguez -- Searching For Sugar Man

  A heavily underrated, mega talented and almost completely lost singer/ songwriter, who has finally gotten the kudos he's deserved 40 years later thanks to the academy award winning documentary Searching For Sugar Man.  Was Rodriguez like Nick Drake, missing the folk boat by a couple years, his blend of Bob Dylan meets Leonard Cohen who hangs out with Donovan was a year or two too late, but brilliant nonetheless, one of the tunes even forced out a couple crocodile tears out of my eye ducts, which in itself says it all ... not every great song writer can make you cry!